I’ve coached on this subject three times this week – clients who have committed to my bodymindsoul cleanse or their eating protocol and they’ve been invited out for dinner.
They want to decide, before they get there, that they’re going to break their commitment because they don’t want to offend or hurt their host.
It’s not possible to please your host, and it’s equally impossible to offend your host.
You can’t please anyone but yourself, and you can’t hurt or offend anyone but yourself.
YOUR feelings are ALWAYS a direct result of whatever YOU’RE thinking at the time.
And your HOST’S feeling are ALWAYS a direct result of whatever THEY’RE thinking at the time.
If your host notices that you aren’t eating and gets offended, it’s not because you didn’t eat the food they spent all day preparing. It’s because they’re thinking “She doesn’t like my food” or “She doesn’t care about how I feel” or “She doesn’t value the time and effort I put into this meal”.
So yes, it’s true that your host may feel offended if you don’t eat their food. And they may blame it on you. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. They just don’t know yet that only their thoughts cause their feelings.
But you do, if you’ve been with me for a while.
And my clients certainly do – it’s the main thing I teach them, over and over.
So you need to take responsibility for the only feelings in the world you CAN control, which are your own, and leave the rest to the people responsible for them.
Now, let’s talk about how you feel when you break your commitment to yourself.
That’s pretty hurtful, no?
It could feel a bit like you don’t value yourself, or care enough about yourself.
Makes no sense to overeat to please someone you can’t please,
by ignoring the commitment you made to the only person you can please.
Thank your host, compliment the food, be curious about the recipes and ingredients, tell them how much you appreciate all their effort, love on them every way you can,
And eat all the foods on your protocol or cleanse, and none of the foods that aren’t.
And feel the love you have created for yourself, and trust your host to take care of whatever emotions she has created for herself.