Today’s a tough day, and that’s OK

I’ve been watching myself feel all day today.

It’s not so much fun, I tell ya.

I woke up feeling ‘happy for no reason’ – love it when that happens.

And I had a great day planned – couple hours of work I love, then shopping date with my daughter and a good friend to buy colourful and pretty stuff for her upcoming Bat Mitzvah, followed by lunch, and then dress shopping with another daughter (yep I have 3. and a son. so lucky), followed by dinner at friends. So it should have been a winner all round.

But at some point in the day, I started to feel disgruntled, and dissatisfied, and then, surprise, I felt the urge to eat.

I don’t eat in between meals – it’s a commitment I made to myself a long time ago, and I’m focused on becoming a person who keeps my commitments to myself.

So instead, I watch myself crave.

I let whatever thoughts want to float into consciousness be there, and whatever emotions and sensations arise in my body be there too.

Most of the time, being with myself is an OK place to be – if you ever pass me in the street or store, you’ll notice that I talk to myself all the time, and it’s usually positive and optimistic stuff, and I’m smiling and sometimes laughing with myself. This may sound strange to you, but I think what’s even stranger is that other people think they have to wait to be with someone else to have a laugh or a great conversation ūüėČ

But not today – today there aren’t really any words – there’s just disgruntled. dull.

And you know what, I can handle that.

I can handle whatever I bring myself on any day.

I know I won’t eat, even though a part of me really wants to.

But the part of me that’s in charge, as long as I stay present, knows that what I really want is to be a person who keeps her promises to herself.

It’s a beautiful thing to know that you can be with yourself no matter what.

You may think this is too hard for you, because your thoughts are too ugly, and your feelings too hateful.

And it may hurt.

But here’s what happens, when you commit to staying with yourself, which means no eating when your body isn’t asking for fuel, you start to notice that all your thoughts come and go, even the hateful ones, and that in between is peace, or silence, or a smile.

If you’d eaten the minute you wanted to numb the hateful, you would have missed that smile.

Staying present – you get all of it.

Numb with food – you rob yourself of all of it.

I know which I’m choosing ¬†– you?

 

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Stop looking outside yourself – you are already complete

I’m BACK from My Bearable Lightness of Being retreat in Bodega Bay!

It was MAGICAL – five very fun, rowdy and unmanageable women who taught me more than I taught them! I fell madly in love with every one of them, and we all fell in love with us as a group.

Theresa messaged me after to suggest that I should offer a follow-up program in order to ‘monetize my retreats’. She attached a link to a free webinar that would teach me how to do just that – if I signed up for the paid program the free webinar would be selling, I’m sure.

I love her so much for looking out for me.

I thanked her and told her that I offer my retreats with love and get so much from them, and that it’s never felt good to me to sell one program with the intention of getting you to buy another one after that. I know it’s what they teach in all selling programs, but it feels ick to me so I don’t do it.

My intention is to sell a program, deliver ten times more value than you paid, and give you everything I’ve got during that program.

If you want more after, I’ll always accommodate your desire for more personal growth and development, of course ūüėČ

The reason I’m telling you this is that many entrepreneurs spend more time studying how other entrepreneurs do it than creating and building their own business.

Likewise, many of my weight loss clients spend more time studying different weight loss programs than preparing nourishing foods.

In both cases, this creates separation from their own intuition about how to achieve their goal in a way that’s in line with their uniqueness.

Because marketing is done online these days, and often poses as posts within our social media feeds, we have no protection.

If people were constantly knocking on our front door and offering us free programs to ‘monetize our retreats’ or ‘lose 10lbs of fat in 10 days’, we’d stop opening the door, or, if we were polite, we’d open it and say ‘no thank you’.

When was the last time you said YES to an unsolicited phone marketing call? If you even answered?

But if it appears on our screen, and it’s shiny and full of promises, we believe it. Even if it doesn’t resonate with our intuition.

I have a suggestion for you.

Fair warning: it’s going to sound extreme. But you can always go backwards.

Unsubscribe from every newsletter and blog. Now. Except this one of course.

Here’s why – your inner wisdom is subtle – it speaks to you softly, and if you’re busy with loud, bossy ads and posts and videos, it’s message will be drowned out.

And you won’t hear the inner knowing telling you ‘yes, do this’ or ‘no, that feels wrong for us’.

You can still research – it’s all available to you via Google whenever you want specific information related to your project.

This way you will be the driver – you’ll decide how you want to lose weight, or the energy you want to bring to your retreat, and ¬†then you can seek out the information that guides you to your goal.

Your way.

I did this a year ago and I have never looked back. Even the ones I loved.

My business has exploded since I took charge of what information is on my screen (and in my head), and I’ve found that my inner wisdom speaks a bit more loudly these days.

It’s crazy – I’ll say to myself ‘my coaching is getting a bit stale – I need an injection’, and a few days later I’ll get an offer that provides me with daily coaching inspiration, while paying me!

Or ‘I’m interested in corporate opportunities’ and within a month I bump into two personal connections who are heading companies that would benefit from my expertise.

I don’t think that any of the business newsletters or blogs I used to follow would have led me to this – I don’t even think I would have noticed the opportunities being offered to me, because my head would have been filled with all the ways that someone else, who doesn’t even know me, told me what I should be doing to grow my business.

Similarly, my clients who don’t read anything about weight loss, and just follow my recommendations, are not only losing crazy amounts of weight, they’ve stopped even thinking about their weight or their food. Which is exactly my goal for them.

Where in your life are you allowing bossy, noisy online voices, who don’t even know you, to drown out your inner voice?

Unsubscribe today.

But not to me. I’m not bossy am I? Don’t ask my friends or family OK. Well, I’m not bossy online. I don’t think….

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Please don’t eat to please your host

I’ve coached on this subject three times this week – clients who have committed to my bodymindsoul cleanse or their eating protocol¬†and they’ve been invited out for dinner.

They want to decide, before they get there, that they’re going to break their commitment ¬†because they don’t want to offend or hurt their host.

Listen.

It’s not possible to please your host, and it’s equally impossible to offend your host.

You can’t please anyone but yourself, and you can’t hurt or offend anyone but yourself.

YOUR feelings are ALWAYS a direct result of whatever YOU’RE¬†thinking at the time.

And your HOST’S feeling are ALWAYS a direct result of whatever THEY’RE thinking at the time.

If your host notices that you aren’t eating and gets offended, it’s not because you didn’t eat the food they spent all day preparing. It’s because they’re thinking “She doesn’t like my food” or “She doesn’t care about how I feel” or “She doesn’t value the time and effort I put into this meal”.

So yes, it’s true that your host may feel offended if you don’t eat their food. And they may blame it on you. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. They just don’t know yet that only their thoughts cause their feelings.

But you do, if you’ve been with me for a while.

And my clients certainly do – it’s the main thing I teach them, over and over.

So you need to take responsibility for the only feelings in the world you CAN control, which are your own, and leave the rest to the people responsible for them.

Now, let’s talk about how you feel when you break your commitment to yourself.

That’s pretty hurtful, no?

It could feel a bit like you don’t value yourself, or care enough about yourself.

Makes no sense to overeat to please someone you can’t please,

by ignoring the commitment you made to the only person you can please.

Thank your host, compliment the food, be curious about the recipes and ingredients, tell them how much you appreciate all their effort, love on them every way you can,

And eat all the foods on your protocol or cleanse, and none of the foods that aren’t.

And feel the love you have created for yourself, and trust your host to take care of whatever emotions she has created for herself.

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Trying will only get you more trying

How do you feel when you say “I’m going to try”?

If you pay attention, you may notice that it makes you feel weak,¬†like you’ve given up before you’ve begun.

It sounds like a virtuous statement – it’s as if you’re saying ‘I have identified that I want to change something and I am going to try to do it’.
As if your heart is in the right place.

But you know it isn’t, because of that weak feeling that you get.

That’s always your clue that you’re thinking something that won’t get you what you want – if it makes you feel weak or hopeless.

I recommend that if you want to change something, you skip the TRY word, and simply say “I am going to do it”.

Here’s why – we always prove our thoughts true.

Whatever you say you are going to do, you will do that.

So if you’re going to try to give up sugar, your result will be that you keep trying to give up sugar.

You may give it up for a day or two, and then you’ll feel tempted, and you’ll eat some, and then you’ll resist again, and on and on.

Yep. You’re trying, that’s for sure.

Problem is, you aren’t succeeding.

You’re never going to succeed until you DECIDE to succeed.
To DO it. Not to try do it.

You don’t have to change, but if you want to, then really commit.

Pick one thing at a time,
Understand that you can do whatever you believe you will do,
No exceptions,
And decide to do it.

If the best you can offer yourself is “I’ll try”,
I recommend you skip that goal altogether or hire a coach,
Because that tells me that you don’t believe you will succeed,
And, in the same way that we will do whatever we truly believe we can,
if we want to,
The opposite is equally true – no matter how much we want to,
we won’t achieve it if we don’t believe we can.

And there’s nothing more disheartening than really wanting it, trying, and failing. And not understanding that it was simply your thinking that caused the failure.

I have one opening for private coaching opening up this month – if you are ready to stop trying and start succeeding, schedule a consultation with me to see if that spot has your name on it.

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Five steps to a brain renovation!

I did a brain renovation this week!

I literally turned my entire thinking around in order to get what I want.

Did you know that you create all your results in your life with your brain?

What I mean is, we are always creating evidence for what we believe, and so when we want something, we first have to believe we can get it, and then we go about creating it.

Sometimes it seems as if it just happened to us, or someone else gave it to us, but if you trace it back, you will find that you first conceived of it with your brain – by thinking about it and wanting it and believing it was possible.

This week I received a business offer that went beyond my dreams.

If I accepted, it would take my business to the next level, and enable me to exceed my financial goals for this year.

And my first response was to reject it. Well, half of it. I said I could maybe do half.

When I put the phone down, I fully believed that I couldn’t take the offer, because it would require more time than I devote to my business right now, and all my other time is spoken for. I’m healing my son from Crohn’s, which requires me to make every morsel of food he eats from scratch, and I am a very involved mother of four kids, who eat a lot and mess a lot! I also work out, bond regularly with family and friends, and dedicate time to learning and study each week.

A full and wonderful life with very few blank spaces on my calendar.

But at the same time, I have a goal to meet this year, and it’s a big one….

My brain, in it’s current state, was not able to see how to do all this, so it caused me to say no to the offer that would make my business dreams come true.

Makes no sense, right?

I see it with my weight loss clients. They find a protocol that has them losing weight and feeling energetic, and then their brain, in it’s current state, starts to object and protest. They question the validity of the science I present, worry about their protocol, and refuse to believe it could be a permanent solution, even though they desperately want it to be.

All that’s needed is a brain renovation.

Our beliefs are strong connections in our brain, and the problem is, we think they are facts and truths, so we keep operating within them.

My belief was that I can’t devote more hours to my business than I do, and I thought it was true.

Until I woke up the next morning. and I realized that although all my son’s food has to be made in my kitchen, it doesn’t have to be me who makes it.

And that, my friends, was the small brain renovation that led to a very different outcome for me.

My twice a week housekeeper walked in shortly after, I offered her another two days, she beamed, we hugged, I accepted the business offer, and I am well on my way to exceeding my business goal.

You can renovate your brain too, and it can be way less painful than a home renovation.

All it takes is a willingness to be wrong.

1. Think about something you really want, and list all the reasons you can’t have it.

2. Look at your list with a sceptical eye.

3. Notice how all your reasons are simply thoughts and beliefs.

4. Find where and how you are wrong.

5. Demolish  and update the wrong bits,

and you’ll suddenly see your way to achieving YOUR dream!

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You don’t have to gain weight over the holidays

Oops I’m so sorry that you got last week’s email again on Friday.

Here’s what I really want to tell you this week:

It’s Passover and it’s Easter,
And you don’t have to gain weight if you don’t want to.

I know there’s tons of food.
We’re at a really lavish all inclusive resort for ten days,
With at least 4 spectacular meals a day (sometimes 5 if you count high tea),
Plus a 24/7 tea room filled with beautiful pastries and candy.

Here’s what I have to tell you:
The food is irrelevant, unless I make it relevant.

The first 3 days, I decided that I needed to eat everything they offered,
and I gained 3 lbs.
After that, I decided that all the food is neutral.
It’s simply an invitation.
I decide what to accept or not.
I decide whether to make it mean I must eat it or not.

What I’ve chosen, for the last 4 days, is to eat according to my usual protocol.
I’m having a wonderful vacation,
I sit with my huge extended family at every meal, even though I only eat at 2,
and I’ve dropped 2 of the 3 lbs.

My environment is exactly the same.
It has no bearing on my weight or what I eat.
My thoughts about my environment determine what I eat, and therefore what I weigh.

Yes. I’m that powerful, and so are you.

Prove it to yourself – decide on purpose.

And remember, if you want to drop any pounds you gain over Passover and Easter,
and learn how to manage your thoughts to control what you eat and weigh,
bodymindsoul cleanse is a perfect choice and it  starts in 9 days.
Can’t wait to meet you inside our ¬†secret Facebook group!

 

 

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Time for your bodymindsoul spring cleanse

April smells of breezes blowing through my (finally) open windows.

My minimalist tendencies tug at me and I want to empty every closet and dispose of all contents other than what we used the past week.

And my body dreams of opening its cells to release winter toxins and sluggishness.

All of this means….

TIME FOR BODYMINDSOUL CLEANSE!

If you too have amassed some winter layers that you want to shed for spring,

I make it so easy for you.

Every week I tell you exactly what to do for your body, mind and soul.

I’m on Facebook every day answering questions,

coaching you through challenges,

and celebrating breakthroughs.

Bodymindsoul cleanse is unique in that we approach it as a ‘whole person’ experience –

you detoxify your body with whole foods,

which may alert you to some emotional accumulations to release,

while connecting to your inner wisdom so that you maintain your gains,

or should I say losses ūüėČ

My cleanse is priced low because I want everyone to benefit from it ¬†–

$99 gets you weekly videos, audio guides, and cheat sheets

as well as daily support from your cleansing community and me on Facebook.

We will start April 24

(timed for all my Jewish readers and clients who will have just finished Passover).

Sign up now and you will get your first week immediately –

this means you get a head start on Precleanse,

which is a gradual and healthy way to prepare your body and your mind for what’s to come.

Buy here

Need more info?  Get it here. I even have a free sample for you to download.

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Food doesn’t have to satisfy you.


There.
I said it.
With apologies to all my Foodie Friends.
You are not entitled to be satisfied by your food.

Food does not have to satisfy you, comfort you, love you, or be your friend.

Food has to fuel your body.

You have to satisfy yourself
By creating a satisfying life
By surrounding yourself with people and places and events that satisfy you.
By choosing to be satisfied with what is before you.

Gloria finished dinner on Tuesday night,
but she didn’t love her chicken,
so even though her body was full,
she ate cheese, nuts, crackers
and gained weight.

Aviva is going to be a houseguest this weekend,
but the food they eat doesn’t satisfy her
so she’s anticipating some unconscious overeating.

They were both shocked when I told them the news:
You don’t have to love dinner
You don’t have to be satisfied by their food.
You just have to eat enough food to fuel your body
So you can live loving, satisfying and full lives.

We do live in a very food obsessed culture
And so it seems almost a given that food should be way more than fuel.
And I do understand that our sense are involved in our eating,
But if you are overweight,
It means you’re eating more than your body needs.

And if you fire food from the job of satisfying you emotionally and sensually,
(which it is completely unable to fulfill because it’s just a bunch of molecules on a plate)
You may find that you need much less of it.
And
Bonus
You may find yourself reaching out to living objects (including trees and humans) to satisfy your need for love,
and your entire life might feel more satisfying,
Rendering food somewhat irrelevant,
other than gas in your very satisfed tank.

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The Power of Taking Time for Yourself. Yes, it’s worth the expense.

 

I hosted a mini retreat this week.
I invited a client to my house for some intense work.
It was just the two of us – my house is on a quiet street overlooking the ravine, and I made sure it was neat and sparkly for her. We sat in the living room and explored how she is going to achieve her big scary goal,
And then we ate a delicious meal (of course) in my dining room.
I adore combining my passion for coaching with my love for hosting and spoiling people.

Something clicked for her, that we’ve been working on for almost a year.

That’s the magic of separating yourself from your life.
It creates the space for powerful discoveries within a few hours,
That could take months of weekly sessions.

I want to invite you to do just that May 25-28.
Join me in glorious Bodega Bay, Northern California
To explore how to create more lightness in your life.
It may be physical, and it’s just as likely to be emotional and spiritual.

We‚Äôre going to play with the concept of ‚ÄúThe Bearable Lightness of Being‚ÄĚ that exists at the core of every single one of us.
My retreats are a combination of deep soul work, and lots of fun,
And I have one room left,
So if you’re ready for an unforgettable dive into yourself
With a small group of fellow seekers,
Hit reply and email me now to tell me.

If the room is still available, it’s yours.
If you want to bring a friend, sharing is a possibility, so let me know and I’ll give you the details.

Here’s where we’re going to stay – I’m so obsessed I created a photo album so I can go there multiple times a day!!!!

Want a sample of what can happen in just a few hours, read on for Clara’s description of her mini-retreat. And then imagine what you will discover over two and a half days…. I have to tell you that, since our retreat, she is a different person – she reached enough clarity to go home and make the changes to her eating that her body needed to function optimally, ¬†her entire being is truly lighter and she shines through on the phone and email now.

“My AHA was that I could make changes in two ways:

First, I could go to the thoughts I had so that they led to the emotions and actions I wanted.  These are the things we are working on pro-actively.

Second, I could take a moment in the middle of an emotion and simply control (you might say observe first) my response (ie before I take an action). This would allow me to prevent the normal action and go back to the thought and make a better choice. These are things we can do reactively while the proactive ones are being worked on.  i.e, when in the middle of making big changes when it is still messy.

So my change path was clear. Cultivate better thoughts and catch myself before reacting to the old ones when they slipped in.

The other AHA was that by reliving events, I was hurting myself.  The first time, someone else had done it to me.  After that, it was just me doing it to me.  And I could stop.

In terms of the experience, I’ve done similar work in the past for emotional healing, where I was guided through a series of questions that led me to intelligence/insights that weren’t conscious before on the path to healing. The thing I really took from our work that is unique is how everything is stored in my body. ¬†All the thoughts, feelings, memories and wisdom. ¬†And it helped me connect to my body with respect rather than criticism. Hope that makes sense.”

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I’m not disorganized anymore!

 

 

Last year I held a magical retreat in Imperial Beach, California

We started the event by choosing something we wanted to release from our lives.

I chose my belief that I’m a disorganized person.

As you know, all of our results in our lives derive from our thoughts and beliefs.

This is because the way we think influences the way we feel, and the way we feel determines what we’ll do, which of course creates ¬†our result.

I’ve been telling myself I’m disorganized for a very long time.

My hyper-organized oldest daughter agrees, and reinforces this belief every time I forget to pick someone up (yep. happened a few times), or can’t find something she needs NOW.

I always took it as a character flaw.

I thought this so many times that I began to think it was real. Fixed. Something in me that I would have to manage and compensate for with all my other sparkling traits.

Of course, this isn’t true at all.

When I would tell friends that I was disorganized, some  would  be shocked, and tell me all the ways they thought I was a pretty disciplined person.

Hard to start and maintain a successful business all on your own, and run a busy household of six (with only the occasional forgotten child)  without any organizational skills huh?

So, being in a heightened state of awarenss, thanks to the magical surroundings and the glorious conpany at the retreat,

I remembered that it was just a belief I’d created in ¬†my mind,

And decided to be done with it.

I knew that the more I told myself I was disorganized, the more papers, items and children I would lose.

So I threw it into the sea, yelled it at the top of my lungs, and kind of forgot about it.

This week, I’ve been planning my retreat for this spring

(deliriously excited about it!)

and I realized, drving home yesterday, on time and with all 4 kids accounted for,

and entered my neat and tidy house, with all (okay most) papers filed,

that I’m not a disorganized person anymore.

Sure, sometimes I forget stuff, but rarely,

And sometimes I choose Netflix over a clean kitchen, which means I go to bed later than planned, but then I clean it in the morning,

And mostly, these days, I’m pretty, functionally, organized.

Magic happens when we gift ourselves the time and space to be in nature, in the company of like-minded, conscious women who are all seeking to evolve to higher versions of themselves with love and understainding.

My retreat this spring is in Bodega Bay in Northern California, May 25-28. We’re going to explore The Bearable Lightness of Being (with apologies to Milan Kundera).

It’s almost sold out, before I’ve even managed to post a detailed description on my site, so if you are ready to release some old beliefs that have been holding you back from becoming the best version of yourself, experience mindfulness, consciousness, beach walks, yoga, amazing food, magical coaching, and too much more to mention, in a luxurious house overlooking the sea, , email me now to tell me, and I’ll send you the details!

Here’s how two of last year’s retreaters described it:

I would describe the retreat as: ¬†1) Really FUN 2) A time to enjoy seriously yummy food 3) The luxury of a private yoga class ON THE BEACH! 4) The gift of “me” time 5) spontaneous dance parties ¬†6) A great way to learn new self-coaching skills¬†¬†7) Last night, sunset, with beautiful and amazing people‚Ķpriceless 8) A wonderful opportunity to get one-on-one coaching and to learn from the coaching of others ¬†9) Spending time with a group of intelligent¬†women and our generous, hilarious, fearless leader, Bev! xoxox”¬†

“Real, intimate, relaxed and lots of fun and you come away with a sense of who you are – I loved it all. Ready to take on the next great phase of my life with a lot more useful¬†tools to make it through.”

“What I learned is that EVERYBODY has vulnerabilities and pockets of sadness even if they present a perfectly self-confident facade. ¬†We never know what their tender spots are unless we have the opportunity to do coaching. ¬†Then everyone can be vulnerable in a safe environment. Exposing those spots to the light of day is so healing and cleansing”.

And a year later, “I will SUPER miss you guys, too!!!! I go back to that serenity I found at your place with y’all often…such a good, peaceful, calm and present space!!!!”

 

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