Time for your bodymindsoul spring cleanse

April smells of breezes blowing through my (finally) open windows.

My minimalist tendencies tug at me and I want to empty every closet and dispose of all contents other than what we used the past week.

And my body dreams of opening its cells to release winter toxins and sluggishness.

All of this means….

TIME FOR BODYMINDSOUL CLEANSE!

If you too have amassed some winter layers that you want to shed for spring,

I make it so easy for you.

Every week I tell you exactly what to do for your body, mind and soul.

I’m on Facebook every day answering questions,

coaching you through challenges,

and celebrating breakthroughs.

Bodymindsoul cleanse is unique in that we approach it as a ‘whole person’ experience –

you detoxify your body with whole foods,

which may alert you to some emotional accumulations to release,

while connecting to your inner wisdom so that you maintain your gains,

or should I say losses 😉

My cleanse is priced low because I want everyone to benefit from it  –

$99 gets you weekly videos, audio guides, and cheat sheets

as well as daily support from your cleansing community and me on Facebook.

We will start April 24

(timed for all my Jewish readers and clients who will have just finished Passover).

Sign up now and you will get your first week immediately –

this means you get a head start on Precleanse,

which is a gradual and healthy way to prepare your body and your mind for what’s to come.

Buy here

Need more info?  Get it here. I even have a free sample for you to download.

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Food doesn’t have to satisfy you.


There.
I said it.
With apologies to all my Foodie Friends.
You are not entitled to be satisfied by your food.

Food does not have to satisfy you, comfort you, love you, or be your friend.

Food has to fuel your body.

You have to satisfy yourself
By creating a satisfying life
By surrounding yourself with people and places and events that satisfy you.
By choosing to be satisfied with what is before you.

Gloria finished dinner on Tuesday night,
but she didn’t love her chicken,
so even though her body was full,
she ate cheese, nuts, crackers
and gained weight.

Aviva is going to be a houseguest this weekend,
but the food they eat doesn’t satisfy her
so she’s anticipating some unconscious overeating.

They were both shocked when I told them the news:
You don’t have to love dinner
You don’t have to be satisfied by their food.
You just have to eat enough food to fuel your body
So you can live loving, satisfying and full lives.

We do live in a very food obsessed culture
And so it seems almost a given that food should be way more than fuel.
And I do understand that our sense are involved in our eating,
But if you are overweight,
It means you’re eating more than your body needs.

And if you fire food from the job of satisfying you emotionally and sensually,
(which it is completely unable to fulfill because it’s just a bunch of molecules on a plate)
You may find that you need much less of it.
And
Bonus
You may find yourself reaching out to living objects (including trees and humans) to satisfy your need for love,
and your entire life might feel more satisfying,
Rendering food somewhat irrelevant,
other than gas in your very satisfed tank.

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The Power of Taking Time for Yourself. Yes, it’s worth the expense.

 

I hosted a mini retreat this week.
I invited a client to my house for some intense work.
It was just the two of us – my house is on a quiet street overlooking the ravine, and I made sure it was neat and sparkly for her. We sat in the living room and explored how she is going to achieve her big scary goal,
And then we ate a delicious meal (of course) in my dining room.
I adore combining my passion for coaching with my love for hosting and spoiling people.

Something clicked for her, that we’ve been working on for almost a year.

That’s the magic of separating yourself from your life.
It creates the space for powerful discoveries within a few hours,
That could take months of weekly sessions.

I want to invite you to do just that May 25-28.
Join me in glorious Bodega Bay, Northern California
To explore how to create more lightness in your life.
It may be physical, and it’s just as likely to be emotional and spiritual.

We’re going to play with the concept of “The Bearable Lightness of Being” that exists at the core of every single one of us.
My retreats are a combination of deep soul work, and lots of fun,
And I have one room left,
So if you’re ready for an unforgettable dive into yourself
With a small group of fellow seekers,
Hit reply and email me now to tell me.

If the room is still available, it’s yours.
If you want to bring a friend, sharing is a possibility, so let me know and I’ll give you the details.

Here’s where we’re going to stay – I’m so obsessed I created a photo album so I can go there multiple times a day!!!!

Want a sample of what can happen in just a few hours, read on for Clara’s description of her mini-retreat. And then imagine what you will discover over two and a half days…. I have to tell you that, since our retreat, she is a different person – she reached enough clarity to go home and make the changes to her eating that her body needed to function optimally,  her entire being is truly lighter and she shines through on the phone and email now.

“My AHA was that I could make changes in two ways:

First, I could go to the thoughts I had so that they led to the emotions and actions I wanted.  These are the things we are working on pro-actively.

Second, I could take a moment in the middle of an emotion and simply control (you might say observe first) my response (ie before I take an action). This would allow me to prevent the normal action and go back to the thought and make a better choice. These are things we can do reactively while the proactive ones are being worked on.  i.e, when in the middle of making big changes when it is still messy.

So my change path was clear. Cultivate better thoughts and catch myself before reacting to the old ones when they slipped in.

The other AHA was that by reliving events, I was hurting myself.  The first time, someone else had done it to me.  After that, it was just me doing it to me.  And I could stop.

In terms of the experience, I’ve done similar work in the past for emotional healing, where I was guided through a series of questions that led me to intelligence/insights that weren’t conscious before on the path to healing. The thing I really took from our work that is unique is how everything is stored in my body.  All the thoughts, feelings, memories and wisdom.  And it helped me connect to my body with respect rather than criticism. Hope that makes sense.”

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I’m not disorganized anymore!

 

 

Last year I held a magical retreat in Imperial Beach, California

We started the event by choosing something we wanted to release from our lives.

I chose my belief that I’m a disorganized person.

As you know, all of our results in our lives derive from our thoughts and beliefs.

This is because the way we think influences the way we feel, and the way we feel determines what we’ll do, which of course creates  our result.

I’ve been telling myself I’m disorganized for a very long time.

My hyper-organized oldest daughter agrees, and reinforces this belief every time I forget to pick someone up (yep. happened a few times), or can’t find something she needs NOW.

I always took it as a character flaw.

I thought this so many times that I began to think it was real. Fixed. Something in me that I would have to manage and compensate for with all my other sparkling traits.

Of course, this isn’t true at all.

When I would tell friends that I was disorganized, some  would  be shocked, and tell me all the ways they thought I was a pretty disciplined person.

Hard to start and maintain a successful business all on your own, and run a busy household of six (with only the occasional forgotten child)  without any organizational skills huh?

So, being in a heightened state of awarenss, thanks to the magical surroundings and the glorious conpany at the retreat,

I remembered that it was just a belief I’d created in  my mind,

And decided to be done with it.

I knew that the more I told myself I was disorganized, the more papers, items and children I would lose.

So I threw it into the sea, yelled it at the top of my lungs, and kind of forgot about it.

This week, I’ve been planning my retreat for this spring

(deliriously excited about it!)

and I realized, drving home yesterday, on time and with all 4 kids accounted for,

and entered my neat and tidy house, with all (okay most) papers filed,

that I’m not a disorganized person anymore.

Sure, sometimes I forget stuff, but rarely,

And sometimes I choose Netflix over a clean kitchen, which means I go to bed later than planned, but then I clean it in the morning,

And mostly, these days, I’m pretty, functionally, organized.

Magic happens when we gift ourselves the time and space to be in nature, in the company of like-minded, conscious women who are all seeking to evolve to higher versions of themselves with love and understainding.

My retreat this spring is in Bodega Bay in Northern California, May 25-28. We’re going to explore The Bearable Lightness of Being (with apologies to Milan Kundera).

It’s almost sold out, before I’ve even managed to post a detailed description on my site, so if you are ready to release some old beliefs that have been holding you back from becoming the best version of yourself, experience mindfulness, consciousness, beach walks, yoga, amazing food, magical coaching, and too much more to mention, in a luxurious house overlooking the sea, , email me now to tell me, and I’ll send you the details!

Here’s how two of last year’s retreaters described it:

I would describe the retreat as:  1) Really FUN 2) A time to enjoy seriously yummy food 3) The luxury of a private yoga class ON THE BEACH! 4) The gift of “me” time 5) spontaneous dance parties  6) A great way to learn new self-coaching skills  7) Last night, sunset, with beautiful and amazing people…priceless 8) A wonderful opportunity to get one-on-one coaching and to learn from the coaching of others  9) Spending time with a group of intelligent women and our generous, hilarious, fearless leader, Bev! xoxox” 

“Real, intimate, relaxed and lots of fun and you come away with a sense of who you are – I loved it all. Ready to take on the next great phase of my life with a lot more useful tools to make it through.”

“What I learned is that EVERYBODY has vulnerabilities and pockets of sadness even if they present a perfectly self-confident facade.  We never know what their tender spots are unless we have the opportunity to do coaching.  Then everyone can be vulnerable in a safe environment. Exposing those spots to the light of day is so healing and cleansing”.

And a year later, “I will SUPER miss you guys, too!!!! I go back to that serenity I found at your place with y’all often…such a good, peaceful, calm and present space!!!!”

 

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I’m in love with my body….


My baby girl (12 years old) and I are in love with Ed Sheeran.
We listen to him while we bake together,
or when we’re hanging out in the kitchen,
often singing with him,
and occasionally breaking into a dance.
OMG have I told you what my two teen girls do?
When I start dancing around the house to their music,
Which happens very often, I have to admit,
They surreptitiously pull out their phones,
Video me,
And post it on Snapchat for all their friends to see!!
I’m choosing to make it mean they think I’m a really cool mom.
Apparently their friends agree.
(Even with the strongest mind management skills in the world,
I could not make it mean that they think I’m a great dancer.)

Anyway….

This morning, on the way to school, she was singing
“Oh-I-Oh-I-Oh-I I’m in love with your body…..”
Notwithstanding my opinions about the message in this song,
It’s a catchy tune, and I j0ined her.

But I changed one word.

My version goes
“Oh-I-Oh-I-Oh-I I’m in love with my body…..”

She looked at me.
With that look I choose to interpret to mean that she thinks I’m a really cool mom.

What? I asked her.
Listen, it’s just as easy to love your body as it is to hate your body.
It’s a decision.
It’s got nothing to do with the shape of your body,
Or what anyone else thinks about it.

It’s just so much easier to move through life in a body you love.
So love it.
There. It’s that simple.
Just decide.

You too.

Yes, I see your cellulite,
And your flabby bits.
I see the scars, the moles, the droops.
I have those too.

Nothing at all to do with the lovability of my body.

There’s no objective measure of lovability.

I know there’s a culturally agreed upon measure of lovability.
But I know that you’re a thinking person,
Who evaluates what your culture tells you to believe.

So use that skill here.

Lovability is a personal decision.
And I choose to love my body (and yours).
Unreservedly.
Unashamedly.
and Unconditionally.

My body doesn’t have to earn my love
By looking a certain way or being a certain size.

Lovability doesn’t have to pass any test.

It just has to feel better.

And moving through the world in a body I love
Feels soooo much better than doing so in a body I hate.

Join me?

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Do you eat when you’re happy and proud?


Emotional eaters are just as likely to eat when they’re very very happy as when they’re very very sad.

My client stretched herself this week.
A public speaking engagement that went very well.
Lots of praise and congratulations,
And she was proud of herself.

Then, on the way home, she started to fantasize about ice cream and french fries.
She resisted the craving, and I’m so proud of her.

But it reminded me that I need to tell you about this,
Because most people think that emotional eating refers to eating when you’re feeling down or stressed  or some other emotion that we think is negative.
And it’s true, but it’s just as true that we may eat when we’re feeling overly proud or happy.

There are two reasons we eat when we are also feeling a positive emotion:
1. We may have learned, early on, that food and eating goes with celebrations. Once that connection is established in your brain, it becomes automatic, and you won’t stop to question it until you become aware of it.
2. Once you start to numb negative emotions, you become uncomfortable with all intense emotion. It all starts to feel uncomfortable, and so you eat to deaden the intensity.

This last explanation, for me, is the best possible reason to do the work required in order to heal from emotional eating.
My wish for you is that you learn, through practice, that you can handle any and every emotion that comes your way.
I know you can.
And being willing to experience grief, loss, shame and overwhelm without eating them
is the only way you are going to experience joy, pride, and elation – all the way through
So worth it.

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You can stop any time

Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a binge?
Could be food, Netflix, Facebook, Google, porn.
You suddenly “wake up” and notice it’s been hours/entire bags of chips.
It feels like you weren’t aware of what you were doing and now you are.
And you think you can’t stop.
You think you’re powerless in the face of this urge.
That you have to ride it out until it comes to it’s natural end.

I have breaking news for you.

You can stop a binge any time.
Before, during.
Any time between your first urge and the last.

Let’s talk about awareness.
When you’re trying to change a pattern,
It’s usually because you become aware, after, that it’s not working for you.
Don’t berate yourself when you come to this post-binge awareness –
It’s the first stage.
Use it as motivation to get support to learn a different pattern.

Second stage, is that mid-binge awareness.
What you tell yourself here is crucial.
You see yourself,
You may feel disgusted at yourself,
Because you’re probably criticizing yourself like crazy.
Not a good idea.
Self-disgust is going to send you right back into that binge coma.
You’ll do lots more damage before you’re done.

Reframe that mid-binge wakeup:

“Wow. Look at me.
I’ve moved to the second step in awareness.
(Third step is pre-binge awareness, but we’ll talk about that next week)
Here’s my opportunity.
I can stop now.
All I have to do is stop.
What I do next is entirely in my control.
The worst that will happen is I may feel some emotional discomfort.
I can handle it.
The best that will happen is I may feel really proud of myself.
I can stop now.
I am in charge. Of my hands, my mouth, my brain.
One hundred percent in charge.”

As you know, if you’ve been with me for a while,
What we tell ourselves determines what we do.
Choosing an optimistic interpretation is always more likely to result in a positive result,
As long as you believe it.

If you don’t believe any of the script I’ve given you above,
 we need to talk.
You won’t break your binge habit if you don’t believe that you are in control,
or that you can handle uncomfortable emotions.
Schedule a complimentary consultation with me.
Because I don’t believe you can.
I know you can.

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You have to really really want it


What did you think about last week’s blog?
My husband was concerned that I may have discouraged you from working with me.
I guess the continued use of the word “slog” might do that?
😉

So let me clarify:
Discouraging you from working to achieve your goal, with or without me,  was never my intention.
But I know what it’s like to want something, pay money to get it,  not do the necessary work, and therefore not succeed.
It feels terrible.
Worse than when you started.
Because, if you’re like most of my clients, you’ll add it to your long list of proof that you’re a loser, a failure, not worthy of success or joy or happiness.

I find that the main differentiator of those who succeed and those who don’t is DESIRE.

How much you do want it?

I’m going to use weight loss here, but this applies to any goal you have.

Of course, you want it.
BUT
How much do you want it?

Do you want to lose weight, if it’s going to be easy, and if it doesn’t interfere with your social eating, your movie popcorn, your comfort ice cream?
Do you want to lose weight, until you go for dinner with friends, and everyone is drinking and ordering course after course and you don’t want to feel the discomfort of not matching them?
Do you want to lose weight, until you have an argument with your husband, and you don’t want to feel the discomfort of intense fear and frustration?
Do you want to lose weight, until you have a busy day, and there’s no fuel food in the house, and Pizza Pizza will be there in ten minutes?

In other words, do you want it, in a mild kind of “I’d prefer to be thin, if it’s convenient and doesn’t require too much of me” way?

That kind of desire won’t get you permanent and lasting weight loss.

Permanent and lasting weight loss requires that you rebuild your neural pathways – your response to stress, fear, temptation, fatigue.

It’s change at a deep level, and you achieve it by sustained focus.

Think of something you are going to achieve no matter what.
For many of us, it’s for someone else.
It may be, “I am going to heal my child no matter what”,
or “I will make my dog comfortable no matter what”.
Whatever it takes, you’re going to find the time, the experts, the money.
You’re going to stay, show up even when you want to hide,
and keep doing it every single day until it’s done.

That’s the kind of desire I’m talking about.
When you have that kind of desire
For yourself
That’s when I recommend you sign up with me to lose weight permanently.
When you are going to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes,
You can’t fail.

And that’s really the only difference between my clients who do it and those who don’t.

So….
If you want to be successful
Find that desire.
Close your eyes,
Still your mind
Picture it. Whatever you want. See it vividly.
Notice how you feel.
If your body opens up to you,
You relax, you smile, you see it.
You will get it.

As long as you hold that picture in your mind constantly,
All day and night,
Remembering what you desire and why,
You’re going to get it. For sure.
Just like I did during the half marathon –
I kept picturing my Jacuzzi tub, being warm and dry,
Feeling pride and satisfaction,
Until I got it.
This desire made completion of the marathon inevitable.
No matter what or how long it took.

This is what I want to teach you.
If you don’t have the desire,
Figure out why.
Maybe you don’t really want it – so then stop pretending and find another goal to work towards.
Maybe you want it but you don’t believe you can have it – this is when coaching is so valuable – schedule a free consult with me and I can help.

But please don’t start until you have real, focused and sustained desire.
Because telling yourself you failed again really hurts.
Way more than not starting.

 

 

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Lessons learned from my half marathon

So I did it!!!
13 miles/21km in freezing, windy, raining, grey Miami.
Can you imagine?
I’ve spent so many winters in Miami and I have never seen such a grim day,
Flanked on both ends by sunny gorgeous weather!

Of course, I hadn’t brought any of my layers with me,
So I was freezing and stiff long before the marathon began,
So I could barely operate my phone to choose music,
And don’t even try  to pee in a Portapotty and pull your leggings up (quickly) when your legs and leggings are wet and your hands are numb and frozen!!!

And worse, I had been told to expect entertainment, bands, cheerleading  teams, residents who hand out KitKats as you pass their houses, high five-ing partiers on South Beach, etc.
Hardly any of that.
I don’t blame them – I also wouldn’t have ventured out in that weather.
(Kudos to the enthusiastic cheering Team from  Chai Lifeline, who showed up in full force!)

So… even though I had felt so strong and powerful by the end of my training,
As we crossed the start line, I could barely summon up any enthusiasm to run.
I walked the first km with my sister, and then set off on my running/walking routine.
My energy level was about half what it had been during training,
At the beginning of the marathon,
And I kept waiting for it to kick up, but it didn’t.

And I just kept going.
It was a real slog.
But my goal was 13 miles and there was absolutely no doubt that I was going to do it.
So all I had to figure out was how to get there as quickly as possible, not to have a good time, but to get inside.
I kept dreaming of  my Jacuzzi tub  in my warm cozy suite
(THANK YOU for the upgrade Martin at the Fontainebleau Hotel!).

So, even though I didn’t want to,
I ran as much as I could.
Only because I kept telling myself it would get me to the finish line faster.

And every time I wanted to stop and rest a bit,
I reminded myself how it would set me back – I’d get cramps, I’d be in the rain even longer, I’d be further from my goal.

The best part was seeing the mile marker signs.
Slog slog slog – 6mile – slog slog slog – 7 miles (more than halfway there!) and on and on
Until I was done.

So, in the absence of entertainment, I had lots of time for thinking –
And of course my mind went to the parallels with the weight loss marathon that so many women are on.
And why so many never get to the finish line.
So many of my clients say they want to get to a certain number.
And we quickly figure out what they need to do to get there.
But they don’t do it.
Or they do it for a while, make amazing progress, and then stop doing it.

They lose sight of the goal.
Because they stop aiming for it.
Something else asks for their attention,  and they’re off.
Or it gets too hard, and they let themselves give up.

Kind of like the women who hopped in an uber, and got off a mile from the finish line.
Or the woman who crossed the meridian to take a big shortcut.
They lost sight of their goal.
They pretended it didn’t matter to them anymore.

Like my clients, they pretend they don’t care, when they see dessert.
Or when their husband annoys them,
Or when their dog is sick.

They stop weighing themselves,
Haul out the old stretchy sweatpants.
And pretend they aren’t yearning to see that number. The goal. The dream.

There were so many distractions for me along the way.
A Starbucks! Open at 8am! Warm and dry!
Some of my teammates gave up at that Starbucks.
They forgot how much they wanted their goal.
But I wouldn’t do it – I kept my eye on the goal –
Kept looking forward to the next mile marker, and the next, the quarter mark, the halfway mark, the last mile.
Slog slog slog. Faster, slower, always forward.

It wasn’t fun.
It definitely wasn’t glamorous (my visualizations of me flying across the course did not materialize)
But I got there.
Slower than I’d planned
But successful.
And THAT felt amazing. Enormous pride, glowing, self-respect.

Next time, I’m not going to expect to enjoy it.

What if you expected not to enjoy your march to your goal weight?

What if you expect it to be hard and uncomfortable sometimes?

What if you become that woman who marches towards her goal, no matter what?

Here’s what: you will get there.

And you will be so proud of yourself.

And you’ll be thin.

And maybe you’ll join me next year? Miami half marathon 2018.

Start marching.

If you are committed and certain that this is what you want, and you  want a weight loss coach in your corner, I will keep you on the course. My fundraising page is still open, and I am still offering Coaching for a Cause. Click here for details.

 

 

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Words have the power to create your reality – use them with care.


Do you know what words you’re allowing to create your reality?
The words that you allow to dominate your consciousness tend to materialize,
So it’s a really good idea to pay attention to what you’re telling yourself all day.

I like to purposefully choose the words I focus on, so I choose sentences that describe the reality I want to create, and then I think them all day.
It’s how we create new pathways in our brains, so that we change our behaviour without having to fight against our old programming.
For example, Gina was eyeing the candy aisle at the grocery store, but when she remembered her sentence “I’m the kind of person who looks after herself”, she lost interest and walked away.
Her words became her reality.

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with single words.
What if y0u could find one word that, when you think it,
will immediately turn your focus to where you want to be? 
Wouldn’t that be so great?
Just one word, to keep bringing you back, back, back.
Back to your centred place.
And what would that word be?
For me, it’s REMEMBER.
I have so many insights and epiphanies in my life,
And I usually live by them for a few weeks or days,
And I feel amazing and alive and purposeful,
And I get stuff done.
And then I forget,
And go back to my unconscious life.
So for me,
Every time I notice myself drifting,
I simply say “remember” and all the wisdom and desire helps me turn toward who I want to be.

Last week I hosted an art workshop at the amazing Studio p,
Where we created stunning canvasses with our words.
Trust, Care, Lean, Remember.

Lean. Isn’t that interesting?
You might think that would be a negative word for an emotional eater.
But here’s how Jodi explained it:
“I want a lean life. Lean body, lean house (free of clutter and excess), lean friends (only those who fill me).”
I adore it.
I’ve been thinking about this word ever since.
Lean.
Constraint.
Only what’s necessary, helpful and life-enhancing.
I love it.

What would your word be?
That one word that, when you say it, will bring you right back to your centre?
Give yourself some time to let it come.
You’ll know it because, the minute you think it, your body will shift –
You’ll feel an opening, clarity, maybe even a small tingle.
That’s it – that’s your word.
Hold it close and find the magic in it.

P.S. Here’s some more amazing art!!! Not quite finished yet but I LOVE them all!!!

 

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