What’s for dinner?

Tonight, dinner was tea and cookies.



Usually dinner is veggies – lots of them, roasted, sautéed, souped, raw, any way. I looooove veggies. Never met a veggie I didn’t love (okra’s not really a veg right?)

Tonight, I really felt like cookies and tea.

In my old life, I would have felt like cookies and tea at dinner time.

And I would have made myself tofu and veggies.

Later, I would have rebelled and eaten the cookies.

After, I’d have served myself a helping of regret and shame.

Followed by a few more courses of binge eating.

Now, I’m honest with myself.

I eat consciously.

If I want cookies and tea, I may choose to have them and tell myself the truth:

That’s dinner.

And while it’s not a dinner that fuels me very well, for tonight it was just what I wanted.

And what I chose.

Some nights I may choose not to have cookies and tea for dinner even if I want it.

Could be I’m teaching a class and want to be sharp.

Could be I’ve already had some joy foods today and want to balance them with fuel foods.

But tonight, I chose it.

That’s what I love about my program.

No rules.

Just connecting with my body, listening to what it wants.

So revolutionary.

So obvious.

So simple.

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Let’s meet for coffee… without the coffee… or the muffin?

I met my Dad for coffee this morning.

We had the best time – chatting, catching up, connecting.

He had a latte and homemade pumpkin muffins I brought for him.

I had – nothing.

An hour before we met I was hungry, and I always eat when I’m hungry. I never make my body wait until my schedule says it’s time to eat. This morning, my body required a green smoothie (yum) and some of those muffins (equal yum).

Then I arrived for my coffee date. I sat in my car and realized that I was full. It would be entirely foreign to me now to ignore my body’s signals and eat when I’m not hungry. I thought about having a herbal tea, but realized that I did not even feel like that.

I worried that my Dad would mind if I didn’t eat. Would it be uncomfortable for him to eat alone?

Society’s norm is, when we meet for coffee, we both have coffee and maybe something to eat. When we meet for lunch, we both eat lunch, often matching each other’s courses. Sometimes we forget that the purpose of the date is to connect emotionally and socially. The food is just the excuse to get together.

So, I got him his coffee, offered him his muffins, and we started talking, and talking, and laughing, and connecting. And I didn’t notice that I wasn’t eating or drinking, and neither did he.

And if he had, that would have been his business, not mine.

I learned from my coach that sometimes we use food to disconnect from the people we’re with. I made a decision to never miss out on the present moment by eating when I’m not hungry. That way, I’m connected with myself, and I’m connected with my partner.

Next time, I may have a decaf soy caramel latte, or a croissant. Depends what my body is telling me.

For today, it was pure connection, and it felt great!

I would love to teach you how to connect with your body – it’s effortless it’s fun and it’s forever! bev@forever-free.ca

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‘Does this feel like love?’

I ask myself this coaching question whenever i’m faced with a dilemma (thank you Susan Hyatt!). Still in New Orleans. My husband and I have a routine when we travel: he goes for an exploratory early morning run while I sleep and discovers the perfect breakfast spot, as well as interesting places to meander through for the day. This routine has worked well for almost twenty years. As all good marriages evolve, so too has our routine. Now he comes home from his run, and maps out my run for me based on the routes he’s discovered. I’m not fast enough to run with him (yet).

Today I was thoroughly enjoying my 7km run through the vibrant French Quarter in New Orleans, soaking up the sights and sounds, when I slipped and fell. I scraped my knees and calf quite badly. Immediately I wondered if I should stop running.

It would be a very valid excuse, I was quite banged up.
I did a quick mental check – bones? intact. Joints? Still moving. It was just skin damage.
I checked my feelings in my body – give up?
Not one cell agreed to do it.
I couldn’t wait to get started again.
The reason is, running felt like love to me today.

If I had been running because I wanted to lose weight, or because I told myself I had to exercise today, or because I ate a piece of cake last night, that would have been running out of self-hatred.
And I would have jumped at the chance to use the fall as an excuse to stop.

But now exercise feels enormously like love to me.
And that’s why I do it.
And that’s why I choose it over lunch dates, manicures, or sleeping in.
And each time I run, I prove to myself that I’m worthy of my love.
And all other love can only come from that place.

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Do you want to be that kind of person?

“I’m not a morning person”
“I’m just not the active type”

These were two beliefs that I created in my teens, and lived much of my adult life around.
BUT, if these thoughts are true, then what on earth am I doing booking an 8 a.m. (yes that’s short for morning) bike tour of New Orleans on my vacation?
I have two days to spend exactly as I please while my children are at home and my husband is at his conference.

My first choice – an 8 a.m. biking tour – can’t wait!

See, a coach asked me the magic question:
well, do you want to be that kind of person?
I learned that it’s a choice we make, and we can rechoose any time we like. It’s very powerful. Once we create a story about ourselves, we seek and create evidence for this thought, until it becomes a deep rooted belief.

So I spent much of my teens and early adulthood lying in bed reading until all hours of night and early morning. Then I would have great difficulty waking up in the morning, and was bad mooded and disorganized. A perfect system of thoughts becoming reality. I was definitely not an active person, and my family will confirm that I was DEFINITELY not a morning person!

A few years ago I hired a personal trainer, who, after a complicated assessment involving protractors and other fancy equipment, told me that I have the body type of an athlete (this despite the fact that I have never caught a ball in my life!).

Hmmm, a conflict between my belief and an objective reality. I decided to solve this paradox, and coaching provided me with a technique to change my core beliefs. It’s so simple. All I had to do was find a replacement thought that was equally true and believable, and that served my goal. I decided to try out these beliefs instead:

“I am becoming an active person”
“I love to create joy in my house in the morning”

These thoughts felt real, and made me feel calm and peaceful, so I’ve simply been practicing them these past few months….

And here I am, creating evidence for the new thoughts, by choosing, out of all the endless options in New Orleans, such as my extremely comfortable bed in my gorgeous executive room overlooking the Mississippi, or cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde, to wake up early, and join Bob for a 20 mile ride through Mississippi. In fact, I’m so excited about it I’ve booked to do the Ninth Ward tomorrow with my husband.
After that, cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde!

Do you have any beliefs about yourself that are holding you back? I can help you change them, and change your life! bev@forever-free.ca

P.S. If you’re in New Orleans, don’t miss Bob’s fun, interesting  tours  http://www.bigeasybiketours.com/Big_Easy_Bike_Tours/Home.html


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How much emotional baggage do you carry around in your bag?

Along my journey to end my weight loss struggle, I often found myself overburdened with keeping my options open for “just in case”. Do you find that? Are you stressed about “what if” questions – like “what if I’m hungry and there is nothing healthy to eat?” or perhaps it is in other areas of your life like “what if I want to do something different than the planned activity on my trip?” Here are 2 examples of what was in my bag when I was struggling with this.

An overnight trip at a catered event with my daughter – an evening meal, followed by brunch the next day, no shortage of food, but in addition to all our clothes, makeup and accessories, I arrived with a full bag of food: dried fruit, protein bars, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, herbal tea bags – for our 16 hour stay. On arrival, we were presented with a huge gift basket full of delicious things to eat in our hotel room, so needless to say, I repacked all this food to take it home the next day!

I felt foolish.
I felt overloaded.

I do this with personal activities too – my carry-on bag is bigger than my children’s! Every trip, I take: knitting, needlepoint, laptop, iPod, stack of books, stack of magazines.

I tell myself I don’t have to do them; I just like to know they’re there if I want to. Just in case.

It’s a lie I’m telling myself.
All that food.
All that stuff.
It makes me feel weighed down.

Does this sound like you? What’s in your bag? How do you feel about the contents of your bag when you unpack it?

Sometimes it takes a while to find the answer. I struggled a lot with that question, as, having mastered the art of backpacking across two continents in my twenties, I take great pleasure in packing the minimum clothes needed. So why did I burden myself with lots of food every time I travel?

I discussed this with my coach, and she asked me a question that changed my life.  “Which do you prefer – traveling light or having choices?” By working with my coach, I was able to understand that I could find the freedom I needed to make the right choices – not by relying on having something with me to deal with every possible scenario, but by being able to make the right choice based on the options around me at the time, and leaving lots of room in my bag for thoughts of abundance, not restrictions.

I’m now enrolled in a self-coaching class, and working on abundance thoughts.  The overloading and abundance seems connected. Often with coaching, you work on one thought, and other behaviours are released without any effort at all. It’s the magic of coaching.

So, this morning, miraculously, I find myself boarding a plane to New Orleans (6 hours travel time) with just my purse. What’s in it?  1 novel, 1 Oprah mag, 1 protein bar, 2 clementines, wallet, blackberry. That’s it.
No emotional baggage.
I love it.
Answer: travelling light. It’s freedom.

Are you struggling to discover freedom? I can help you – it’s not as hard as it seems. Contact me to book a session, and let me help you change your life: Email me.

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