I broke a personal barrier last night.
I danced while no one else was dancing.
OK. I danced with two friends.
At a party of 40 people.
Until last night, I was a person who only danced when everyone was dancing.
I was always mesmerized by women who get up and dance at concerts or parties,
Without making sure that other people were dancing before.
I was awed and delighted by them.
I was tempted to join them.
But my belief that I can’t separated me from them and the possibility of this joy.
Last night, I was at my friend Marda’s 40th birthday party,
marvelling at my effervescent friend Jen dancing up and down the garden all on her own.
I watched her and thought “one day I am going to do that.”
As I was saying goodbye to Marda,
Jen ran up to get her to come and dance.
I said “good for you guys, one day I will do that too”.
And then I heard myself say to myself “or this day?”
Instant excitement.
I told Jen I was about to break a personal barrier,
and she gave me the key:
“dance like no one is watching”
Really?
I could do that?
Dance like no one is watching?
But they’re all there.
That was the worry behind my barrier.
I thought they would all be watching.
And judging.
Negatively.
What if no one was watching?
Well then.
DANCE baby!!!!
And we did.
Hours.
Three of us.
Laughing.
Shimmying.
Singing.
Sweaty.
And who knows if they watched or didn’t.
I was having way too much fun to care.
P.S. no alcohol. not one drop.