It’s been almost eight weeks since I lost my mother.
I was told that when someone dies, they leave a void.
And when each person who knew them takes a piece of the void,
the hole gets filled.
I find this idea comforting.
On the one hand, I feel my mother’s presence very acutely.
On the other hand, her physical being was very powerful and spread enormous light on whoever she touched.
We were visited by hundreds of people the week after she died,
and all shared similar stories –
of immense kindnesses,
of thoughtful gestures,
of remembrances and followups,
of pain lessened when shared with her.
I’ve decided what piece of the void I will pick up and try to fill.
I am going to increase my acts of kindness in the world.
I’ve started already, in an area where I’m usually not very kind.
I’m an impatient driver, and don’t like to be stuck behind a slow driver, or wait for someone in front of me.
Lately, I’m slowing down
Actively practicing kind driving.
I’m noticing 2 things:
1. My acts of kindness are rippling out: when I stop and let a car in from a driveway or a parking lot, often the car behind me will stop after and let the next car in.
2. Being kind feels so good to me. When I stop to let a pedestrian cross the road when there’s no crosswalk, I smile, they smile, we may share a wave, and I get a hit of warm and fuzzy. Not to mention a piece of my mom.
So I’m benefitting both in the knowledge that I’m helping fill the enormous void left by my mother’s powerful soul, and by receiving the gifts of connection with strangers. As a bonus I get to enjoy the idea that my kindness is inspiring strangers to be more kind too.
I’d love you to join me. What kindness will you perform today, to help fill the void left by my mother, a genuinely and selflessly kind and giving person?