What did you think about last week’s blog?
My husband was concerned that I may have discouraged you from working with me.
I guess the continued use of the word “slog” might do that?
😉

So let me clarify:
Discouraging you from working to achieve your goal, with or without me,  was never my intention.
But I know what it’s like to want something, pay money to get it,  not do the necessary work, and therefore not succeed.
It feels terrible.
Worse than when you started.
Because, if you’re like most of my clients, you’ll add it to your long list of proof that you’re a loser, a failure, not worthy of success or joy or happiness.

I find that the main differentiator of those who succeed and those who don’t is DESIRE.

How much you do want it?

I’m going to use weight loss here, but this applies to any goal you have.

Of course, you want it.
BUT
How much do you want it?

Do you want to lose weight, if it’s going to be easy, and if it doesn’t interfere with your social eating, your movie popcorn, your comfort ice cream?
Do you want to lose weight, until you go for dinner with friends, and everyone is drinking and ordering course after course and you don’t want to feel the discomfort of not matching them?
Do you want to lose weight, until you have an argument with your husband, and you don’t want to feel the discomfort of intense fear and frustration?
Do you want to lose weight, until you have a busy day, and there’s no fuel food in the house, and Pizza Pizza will be there in ten minutes?

In other words, do you want it, in a mild kind of “I’d prefer to be thin, if it’s convenient and doesn’t require too much of me” way?

That kind of desire won’t get you permanent and lasting weight loss.

Permanent and lasting weight loss requires that you rebuild your neural pathways – your response to stress, fear, temptation, fatigue.

It’s change at a deep level, and you achieve it by sustained focus.

Think of something you are going to achieve no matter what.
For many of us, it’s for someone else.
It may be, “I am going to heal my child no matter what”,
or “I will make my dog comfortable no matter what”.
Whatever it takes, you’re going to find the time, the experts, the money.
You’re going to stay, show up even when you want to hide,
and keep doing it every single day until it’s done.

That’s the kind of desire I’m talking about.
When you have that kind of desire
For yourself
That’s when I recommend you sign up with me to lose weight permanently.
When you are going to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes,
You can’t fail.

And that’s really the only difference between my clients who do it and those who don’t.

So….
If you want to be successful
Find that desire.
Close your eyes,
Still your mind
Picture it. Whatever you want. See it vividly.
Notice how you feel.
If your body opens up to you,
You relax, you smile, you see it.
You will get it.

As long as you hold that picture in your mind constantly,
All day and night,
Remembering what you desire and why,
You’re going to get it. For sure.
Just like I did during the half marathon –
I kept picturing my Jacuzzi tub, being warm and dry,
Feeling pride and satisfaction,
Until I got it.
This desire made completion of the marathon inevitable.
No matter what or how long it took.

This is what I want to teach you.
If you don’t have the desire,
Figure out why.
Maybe you don’t really want it – so then stop pretending and find another goal to work towards.
Maybe you want it but you don’t believe you can have it – this is when coaching is so valuable – schedule a free consult with me and I can help.

But please don’t start until you have real, focused and sustained desire.
Because telling yourself you failed again really hurts.
Way more than not starting.