Two of my clients have been overeating this past week.
They’ve become used to eating high quality, nutritious foods that fuel their bodies.
And they feel energetic, clearheaded and positive when they eat this way.
I do too.

But, being human, sometimes we forget how much power we have to make ourselves feel good
(or crappy),
And we tell ourselves that eating addictive foods will make us feel happy.

Which they do, for about a minute.
And then they don’t.
So we need more.

Clara told me that she has a solution:
She wants allow herself more treats for a few days,
in order to gradually enable her to ‘get back on track’ without feeling deprived.

I’m not a big fan of changing the plan in order to feel better.
It’s a bit like putting a Bandaid on a cut before you figure out why you’re bleeding.
It’s so much more productive to figure out why you’re not feeling better now.
I’m a bit of a wanna-be detective that way 🙂
So I suggested we find out why she’s feeling deprived.
No surprise, Clara was feeling deprived because every morning she woke up and told herself that she must stop eating ‘treats’ in order to continue her highly successful weight loss journey.
Ugh. The MUST word.

Every morning, Clara was putting herself on a Diet.
See that picture at the top of this post?
These were the responses when an audience was asked what came up for them when they heard the dreaded D word.

All that negativity, not necessary for weight loss.

The word ‘diet’ simply refers to the foods you eat at any given time.
So why all this pain for such a neutral term?
Because of all the times we allowed ourselves to be told what to eat and avoid
AND
all the times we complied.
We forgot, repeatedly,  that we have a choice.

It’s kind of like my university experiences.
First time, I went to university straight after high school,
I thought of it as something I had to do.
It felt like a burden and a restriction, just like school did,
And I spent much of my first degree engaging as little as possible.
Mostly I remember not wanting to be there, and dreaming of vacations and any opportunity to escape.
Sounds a bit like a typical reaction to a diet huh?

Then, ten years after graduating and working full time, my husband and I decided to gift ourselves with a Masters degree at the London School of Economics.
Oh, the luxury!
Not a day went by that we didn’t glory in our good fortune at having a whole year to learn and study whatever we wanted, and we took advantage of every opportunity to participate.
No matter how hard it was, I was fully engaged and exhilarated and up for any challenge they gave me.
The only difference between my first and third degree
(yes there was one in between but that’s a story for another time…)
was that I consciously KNEW I had chosen to be there.
Of course, I had chosen it the first time too, but I didn’t realize it.

And this completely impacted my experience.

Clara is telling herself she feels deprived when she doesn’t eat candy and treats,
Because she has a million memories of diets when she allowed someone else to tell her what to do.
This time, just like my Masters degree, losing weight means that she gets to own all her choices.
And that makes all the difference.

Once Clara remembered (OK maybe I prompted her memory a bit)
that the reason she wants to avoid sugary ‘treats’
is that she loves feeling energetic and clear-headed and even-tempered and thin,
her sense of deprivation evaporated.
Poof. Just like that.
No need to coddle herself with a treat just to avoid feeling deprived.
Far better to stand straight in her strength and independence
And own whatever she’s choosing.

As long as she remembers her reasons,
she’s going to choose high quality food instead of ‘treats’.
Because when it’s a choice between foggy and grumpy and tired and bloated,
or clarity and energy and joyfulness,
Deprivation doesn’t even enter the conversation.