I’m wobbling here.
Seriously.
On one foot.
WHAT?
This is supposed to be easy for me!
I’m a yogini.
I was born a yogini.
And from someone who’s been terrible at every sport since birth,
Discovering that I was naturally good at yoga was quite a revelation!
Yet here I am in hot yoga
Struggling to regain my composure during tree pose.
(Trust me, it’s hard to look composed when you’re sweating all over the floor
even when you’re not wobbling!)
So that’s it.
I changed one variable.
My body’s been craving heat for a while now.
I tried Bikram – carpets in a hot room – deep breathing in all those VOCs – no thank you.
I tried Moksha –too expensive with pay parking.
Then I found Hot Yoga Wellness last week – instant addiction.
I’ve gone every day since.
I’m ditching zumba, body pump, kickboxing –they all seem too loud for me now.
I dream all day about the warm room, the poses, the stre-e-e-e-etching, the quiet.
My poses are so much deeper
And so effortless.
Except.
I can’t balance on one leg.
But I CAN.
I always can.
For ages.
Gracefully and perfectly aligned.
But not here.
Sometimes if my mind’s not balanced it’s reflected in my poses
But this is every class.
No matter how hard I try
Or which way I try –
Focus
Squeeze
Let go
I wobble and fall over
While everyone else in the class is still.
I’ve decided to make this fascinating.
While I have great experience at being really bad at physical activities
Which I instantly quit.
I have no experience at being bad at yoga.
And no intention of quitting.
I’m so excited about this.
I love it too much to quit even though I’m not brilliant at it.
This is very new for me.
I usually only do things I’m brilliant at.
(which has led to a high achieving, but very narrow resume).
So the way for me to do this
Is to undergo an identity change.
I am morphing from Bev the Quitter
To Bev the Stayer.
Not sure yet exactly how you do this thing called persevering?
Fortunately I have experience with being good at the poses.
As I have no experience with staying with something when it’s hard.
But Eagle Pose, Tree Pose, Dancer Pose (man! my used-to-be-best show-off pose!)
I have a hunch they’ll teach me.
I believe they’ve been created for this purpose.
And I’m looking forward to experiencing the thrill of mastering a skill which did not come naturally to me.
Soon – that woman in the picture – effortless Dancer pose – that’ll be me in my very own sea of sweat (and hopefully no tears)!
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