What do you make excuses about?
Common topics are:
what we ate (I couldn’t help it I was starving and there was nothing healthy to eat)
how we felt (he was so rude I just had to yell at him)
our finances (it’s not my fault I have expensive taste).
We often believe our excuses.
But they never really feel good to us.
Usually, if I ask my clients how they feel when they say something like this,
They stop, get really quiet, and tell me they feel weak, embarassed, or stupid.
That’s how I know excuses are a lie.
Whenever we think something that makes us feel bad,
I promise you it’s not true,
And it definitely will prevent you from reaching your goals in life.
I believe that we are all born innately peaceful and joyful,
And, if this is our natural state,
Then anything that causes us to move out of this natural state
Is not true.
Let’s look at two of these examples:
I couldn’t help it I was starving and there was nothing healthy to eat
You can always help it. As an adult in a free world, you can always arrange to have healthy food with you, or to go out and get it if you don’t.
I can think of maybe ten times that this may not be possible, like on a freeway at midnight.
Still, you could have packed food for the long drive huh?
He was so rude I just had to yell at him
You know those people who don’t yell back when someone yells at them?
They are so powerful.
They know that no one can make them feel anything, or make them do anything.
They’re in charge of their emotions.
You can be too. And feel the power that comes from owning your emotional world.
I think excuses are tricky, because they may get us out of having to take responsibility in the moment, and that can feel like a relief.
But if you really question yourself, you will probably find that you don’t feel good about it.
Even if you got let off the hook, the ultimate feeling of weakness and shame isn’t worth it.
It feels so much better to take full responsibility for your eating, your emotions, and your finances.
It’s what being an adult looks like.
And as an adult, you get to decide what to eat, feel and spend.
Without having to make any excuses at all.
I’m starting a new group the last week in November – The Hunger Games,
We’re going to be looking at the excuses we make, and how they feel.
I’m purposefully running it over this busy holiday season, when we make so many excuses to allow us to behave in ways we really don’t want to, and then regret them in January. Stay with me, and you’ll be truly celebrating these holidays, and January will just feel like more celebrating!
Only two spots left- we’ll need to talk to see if it’s the right work for you so email me if you want to know more about it and we’ll connect next week!